Successful Second Marriages Blog

We help remarried mid-life couples beat the 65% divorce rate, create beautiful marriages and live happily ever after together.

Creating Romance In Your Second Marriage

Romance is the fun part of being married!

It’s something you can easily do to draw closer and enhance your feelings of love for each other. Romantic moments also create special memories that you can revisit and relive again and again.

You may think romance is for dating, however, even if you don’t consider yourself to be a very romantic person, romance doesn’t take a lot of effort yet pays big dividends in the happiness department.

There are some things that are just intrinsically romantic, practices or traditions that our culture perceives as romantic. Try one or all of these tips and let us know how it goes!

Turn the Lights Down

Romance seems to happen in candlelight or sunsets. Try eating in a darkened room with a fireplace glowing, candles placed around the bedroom, or walking on the beach at sunrise.

Low light is a key ingredient to creating a romantic atmosphere.  (Also, low lighting is more flattering…)

TIP: Put your lights or lamps on dimmer switches to set the romantic mood quickly and easily.

Play Soft Music

Music is a powerful mood changer and can often express feelings that you have in your heart but don’t know how to say. It can help you relax or energize you depending on the beat and the words.

Romantic music is characterized by sweeping refrains that often end on an up-note. Listen to any song sung by the group Il Divo and you will understand how they make lovers swoon.

Have romantic music playing in the background two rooms away so that you can barely hear the notes. Choose something like melodious piano or violins rising and flowing effortlessly.

Create a playlist of your favorite love songs, ones that bring back memories of when you were dating and falling in love. Or play “your song”. The one you sang to when you were dating, or the one you danced to at your wedding.


Here's Our Most Romantic Song

Our love song is written and sung by Barbara Streisand, she sang it at her own wedding to James Brolin.

It's called "I Dreamed of You". The words seem to be written especially for us.

Two of our best friends performed it at our wedding, and even still today it makes us smile softly at each other when it pops up on our playlist.

What's your most romantic song?

TIP: Go to YouTube and search for romantic music. You can find hours and hours of music to play in the background of your romantic evening.

Scatter Hearts

The heart shape is synonymous with love.  Place a few heart shapes strategically around the room to signal the brain that love is in the air.

Want to be big and bold about it? Rent a hotel room with a heart shaped bed…

TIP: When February rolls around, hit the Dollar Store and stock up on red heart stickers and little heart candies that you can use all year round when you need a quick shot of romance.

Wear Red

Red is the color of love and passion. Whether you wear a red tie and matching pocket poof, or a red dress and red lacy underwear, red signals our brains that romance is here right now.

Consider the type of fabric you’re wearing.  Nothing says romance like a silky material swishing against your skin. Lace is always romantic and velvet adds a vintage feel to outfits.

In a study done in 2008 (Elliot, A. J., & Niesta, D.), researchers found that both men and women determined that someone was more attractive when they were wearing red, or even just standing in front of a red background.

TIP: Accessorize with red jewellery or a red rose in your lapel.

Add Romantic Scents

The ethereal flickering light of candles creates an atmosphere of romance. You can scatter scented tea lights around the room to subtly add in seductive aromas.


Whether you are preparing for an intimate dinner, a sensuous bubble bath or a cozy bedroom there is nothing like scented candles to give you that extra dimension of romance.


Carefully select the aroma to create the ambience of romance. Your brain associates different smells with specific memories, so create an unforgettable evening with these aphrodisiac scents:




Ylang Ylang



TIP: You can also use a diffuser with aromatherapy oils, scented air freshener plugins or room sprays and body lotions.

Use Flowers

It may be a bit cliche however red roses are the flowers of love. Unless of course you know that your spouse loves a particular flower.  Barry always brings me tulips because they are my most favorite flowers right up there with sweet peas and peonies.

For our first Valentine’s Day Barry sent me two dozen pink and red tulips and continues the tradition to this day.  (I think it’s particularly romantic because he hates the whole commercialization of Valentine’s Day but he gets me flowers anyway, because he knows it makes me happy.)

TIP: If you have flowers in your yard or there are wild flowers nearby, bring a hand picked bouquet.

Eat Chocolate

Nothing says seduction to me like chocolate dipped strawberries! Unless of course it’s heart shaped chocolate truffles, then I’m swooning.

Apparently the ancient Mayans worshipped a cacao god called Quetzalcoatl. In my books that makes chocolate the food of the gods!

You can’t go wrong with chocolate when it comes to romance.

TIP: Buy one good quality piece (or two to share) and easily stick to your healthy eating plan.

Creating romance in your marriage can be fun and the source of many happy bonding moments. No matter what you do, it’s always the thought that counts, so get out there and start romancing your marriage!

What do you do that’s romantic? Hop onto our Facebook Group and let us know!

We believe that second (or third) marriages can be filled with love and happiness!

You can learn the skills and tools to make your marriage your forever marriage!

Here's a free ebook for you that we think you'll love.



127 Reasons I Love You

FREE digital book 



with love

Barry and J'Anne  
Transformational Marriage Mentors

J’Anne Monteleone is a certified Relationship Coach and Master Life Coach specializing in mentoring couples to enrich and strengthen their marriages. After spending over 30 years helping people design and build their dream homes, she’s now helping couples design and create their most important relationship: their marriage.
J'Anne along with her husband Barry Monteleone are certified marriage mentors and help couples transition through remarriage, empty nest and into a fulfilling and successful retirement lifestyle.
To see more information about Barry and J’Anne click here.