Successful Second Marriages Blog

We help remarried mid-life couples beat the 65% divorce rate, create beautiful marriages and live happily ever after together.

What is Romance?


noun: a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love

Are you chuckling a little bit at the definition of romance. If you’ve been married for a while, you may have forgotten exactly what romance feels like.

You might be wondering where those feelings of excitement and mystery have gone. You may be asking what exactly romance is anymore and if there is a place for it in your marriage now that you’re firmly established in your routines.  If you’re yawning by now, do you even want to put in the effort to have romantic relationship with your honey?

Are You Male or Female?

Romance means different things for each gender and for each person. I remember watching the movie “Young Victoria” with my husband.  At the end he sighed happily and remarked that he loved how Victoria gazed up at Prince Albert and it reminded him of how I gaze at him the same way, with eyes filled with love. To him that was very romantic.  It was a spontaneous moment of vulnerability that I cherish.

Love Languages

We love the book by Gary Chapman called the Five Love Languages.  It helps us see that each person perceives love and romance in different ways.

In our Second Marriages Success Program we do a deep dive into the five love languages and help you hone your skills in speaking your sweetheart's love language fluently.

Pay attention to your beloved and try to determine their main love language.

I asked Barry what he thought romance was and his answer was illuminating!  He mentioned going to the farmer’s market, going out to little cafes, going to the movies, and watching shows together holding hands.

All those things are quality time. It helps me recognize that when he suggests we go to Home Depot together that he actually wants to spend time with me and it’s his way of saying I love you and I want to be with you. So off I go to Home Depot with him even though I’d rather stay home and work on my projects because I'm speaking his love language.

What Is Your Main Love Language?

My main love language is words of affirmation.  Even though Barry knows this and tries to meet my needs, if I didn’t know that it’s not his strong love language I might feel sad that he only tells me he loves me a few times a day, while I tell him multiple, many, many times! Every time my heart feels it I tell him.

It’s often too much for him, but he loves me and accepts my language. I in turn, recognize his ways of loving me that are nonverbal and I am happy when he wraps his arms around me at night and falls asleep holding me tight. While he’s holding me, I imagine that love is flowing between our hearts and it fills me up with happiness that I might otherwise miss.

Join the discussion! We've created a special closed Free Facebook group for you to have a safe and supportive place to share your ideas and concerns surrounding the unique issues specifically facing pre-retired and retired couples.

We believe that second (or third) marriages can be filled with love and happiness!

You can learn the skills and tools to make your marriage your forever marriage!

Here's a free ebook for you that we think you'll love.



127 Reasons I Love You

FREE digital book 



with love

Barry and J'Anne  
Transformational Marriage Mentors

J’Anne Monteleone is a certified Relationship Coach and Master Life Coach specializing in mentoring couples to enrich and strengthen their marriages. After spending over 30 years helping people design and build their dream homes, she’s now helping couples design and create their most important relationship: their marriage.
J'Anne along with her husband Barry Monteleone are certified marriage mentors and help couples transition through remarriage, empty nest and into a fulfilling and successful retirement lifestyle.
To see more information about Barry and J’Anne click here.

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